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Join Comixology Unlimited to read BtVS comics — The Complete Buffy Episode Guide

Xander: Am I right, Giles?
Giles: I'm almost certain you're not, but to be fair, I wasn't listening.

Anya: I mean, I for one didn't want to start my day with a slaughter. Which, really, just goes to show how much I've grown!

Xander (about researching Glory):: This has been fruitful. Trying to look up something you never saw and don't know the name of.

Dreg: Most beauteous and supremely magnificent one, this dark spell I hold in my worthless and scabby hand is our gift to you. Most tingly and wonderful Glorificus—
Glory: Please, call me Glory. And get up, looking at you is hurting my neck.

Glory (sticking her leg straight up in the air): Does this pump make my ankle look bony?
Dreg: No! No, no, your terrifically smooth one, it is the epitome of ankles. To touch such an ankle would be— but I'm not touching. I'm backing away.
(Glory kicks out her foot and the shoe flies off it, hitting Dreg in the forehead.)
Dreg: Ow! Thank you.
Glory: Dreg, is it?
Dreg: Yes. Dreg. Your creamy coolness has honored me by speaking my name. Your voice is like a thousand sweet songbirds that—
Glory (sarcastically): Yeah, I never tire of hearing that.

Riley: What are you doing in here?
(Spike whirls around, hiding Buffy's sweater behind his back.)
Spike: What, me? I was um ... uh ... what are you doing here?
Riley: Looking for the girl who's gonna rip your arms off when she finds out you were in her bedroom.
Spike: Oh yeah? Well ... me too.
(Riley makes a move toward Spike, who flinches and tries to maneuver so Riley can't see what he's holding.)
Riley: Were you ... were you just smelling her sweater?
Spike: No. (Riley glares at him) Well, yeah, all right, I did. It's a... predator thing, nothin' wrong with it. Just ... know your enemy's scent, whet the appetite for a hunt. (He sniffs the sweater again.) Ah, that's the stuff! Slayer musk, it's bitter and aggravating!

Spike: Look, I know for a bleeding fact the Slayer wouldn't mind me being here.
Riley: Right, what's a little sweater sniffing between sworn enemies?

Spike: Okay, how 'bout this one. Twice in recent memory, she's had the lover-wiccas do a deinvite on the house. Keep out specific vamps. Ever ask yourself why she's never taken my name off the guest list?
Riley (after hesitating): Because you're harmless.
Spike: Oh yeah, right. Takes one to know, I suppose. Least I still got the attitude. What do you got, a piercing glance? Face it, white bread. Buffy's got a type, and you're not it. She likes us dangerous, rough, occasionally bumpy in the forehead region. Not that she doesn't like you ... but sorry Charlie, you're just not dark enough.

Buffy: Mom, what did they find?
Joyce: A shadow. I've got a shadow. (She looks at the x-ray images on the wall.) Somewhere ... over there ... he showed it to me, but, um ... they have to do a biopsy to find out exactly what it is.

Giles: Ah, a weeping Buddha: shoulders your spiritual burden. Makes a lovely paperweight, too.

Anya (looking at Magic Box receipts): Hey. Hey! Hey! HEY!
Giles: Anya, your "heys" are startling the customers.
Xander: And pretty much the state.

Anya: Are you stupid or something?
Giles: Allow me to answer that question with a firing.
Xander: She's kidding. An, we talked about the employee-employer vocabulary no-nos. That was number five.

Dawn: I'm really glad you're here.
Riley: Thanks.
Dawn: Buffy's glad too.
Riley: Yeah?
Dawn: She sure cries a lot less with you than she did with Angel.
Riley (surprised): Angel... made her cry a lot, huh?
Dawn: Everything with him was all... (grimaces and makes hand gestures) eee, you know?
Riley: All...?
Dawn: You know... "my boyfriend's a vampire" crazy-crazy. Every day was like the end of the world. She doesn't get all worked up like that over you.

Buffy: How did she get away with this bad mojo stuff?
Anya (whispering): Giles sold it to her.
Giles: I- I- I... I didn't know it was her! I mean, how could I? If it's any consolation, I may have overcharged her.

Xander: Just once, I would like to run into a cult of bunny worshipers.
Anya: Great! Thank you very much for those nightmares!

Xander: That creepy demon-woman is conjuring some kind of monster.
Riley: And you let Buffy go after her? Alone?
Giles: "Let" isn't really a factor when she sets her mind to something. You know that.

Buffy: That thing she conjured, it's loose. It's a big snake thing. Not mayor-big, but it's pretty lethal looking.


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