Buffy (to a vampire): You know, it's probably none of my business, but I just gotta ask: Did you smell this bad when you were alive? 'Cause if it's a post-mortem thing, then boy is my face red, but just so you know, the fast-growing field of personal grooming's come a long way since you became a vampire.

Buffy: I can't believe I passed out. Do you think I'm a total wuss now?
Riley: Oh, yeah. I like a girl who can play a few hard sets of tennis with a major stab wound.
Buffy: You said it wasn't that bad.
Riley: I said I've seen worse. There's a difference.

Buffy: Don't worry. Accelerated healing powers come with the Slayer package. And the boyfriend who comes complete with combat medical training — that's just a Buffy Summers bonus.

Riley: So tell me about the bad guy. Or guys — who do you think they were?
Buffy: Vampire.
Riley: How many?
Buffy: One.
Riley: So what, was he like a Super Vampire or something?
Buffy: No, he was the regular kind. He just beat me.

Dawn: C'mon, who's the man?
Buffy: You are. A very short, annoying man.

Dawn: When do I get to patrol?
Buffy: Not until you are never!

Xander: Hey, Riley! What's the (imitates Riley's hand signal) all about?
Riley: It means yell real loud so the vampires who don't know we're coming will have a sporting chance.
Xander (to Willow): See now he's all mad and sarcastic.

Xander (about Riley): You know what he's like? He's like a cat. You know, a big jungle cat. How come I'm not like that? He's just so cool.
Willow: I think you're cool.

Buffy: Look, I realize that every Slayer comes with an expiration mark on the package. But, I want mine to be a long time from now. Like a Cheeto.

Giles: Yes well the uh... the problem is that after a final battle, it uh... it's difficult to get any um... well the-the-the Slayer's not... she's rather um—
Buffy: It's okay to use the "D" word, Giles.
Giles: Dead. And hence not very forthcoming.
Buffy: Why didn't the Watchers keep fuller accounts of it? The journals just stop.
Giles: I suppose if they're anything like me, they just found the whole subject too uh—
Buffy: Unseemly? Damn. Love ya, but you Watchers are such prigs sometimes.
Giles: Painful, I was going to say.

Spike: You know there are quite a few American beers that are highly underrated. This, unfortunately, is not one of them.

Spike: As I thought: Some nasty thing got a taste of you.
Buffy: Don't get all excited. I'm fine.
Spike: Oh, right. Stuck in a dark corner with a creature you loathe, digging up past uglies, 'cause you're fine.

Buffy: Were you born this big a pain in the ass?
Spike: What can I tell you, baby? I've always been bad.

Male Partygoer (reading William's poetry): "My heart expands/ 'tis grown a bulge in't/ inspired by/ your beauty effulgent." Effulgent?
2nd Male Partygoer: And that's actually one of his better compositions.
Female Partygoer: Have you heard? They call him William the Bloody because of his bloody awful poetry!

Cecily: I'm going to ask you a very personal question. And I demand an honest answer. Do you understand?
(William nods)
Cecily: Your poetry, it's... they're... not written about me, are they?
William: They're about how I feel.
Cecily: Yes, but are they about me?
William: Every syllable.
Cecily: Oh God!

William: I know I'm a bad poet, but I'm a good man. All I ask is that... is that you try to see me—
Cecily: I do see you — that's the problem! You're nothing to me, William. (She stands and looks down at him.) You're beneath me.

Drusilla (speaking her first words ever to William): And I wonder, what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven and brought this dashing stranger to tears?
William: Nothing. I wish to be alone.
Drusilla: I see you. You're a man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength. His vision. His glory. (William gazes at her.) That and burning baby fish swimming all round your head.

Drusilla: You walk in worlds the others can't begin to imagine.

Buffy: So you traded up on the food chain. Then what?
Spike: No, please! Don't make it sound like something you'd flip past on the Discovery Channel. Becoming a vampire is a profound and powerful experience. I could feel this new strength coursing through me. Getting killed made me feel alive for the very first time.

Spike: Oh, I'm sorry, did I sully our good name? We're vampires.

Spike: Lesson the first: A Slayer must always reach for her weapon. (He puts his vamp face on.) I've already got mine.

Spike: The way you tell it, one Slayer's snuffs it, another one rises. I figure there's a new Chosen One getting all chosen as we speak.

Darla: I think our boys are going to fight!
Drusilla: The King of Cups expects a picnic. But this is not his birthday!
Darla (humoring her): Good point.

Vampire (holding the stake that he used to injure Buffy): They ought to put this in a museum.
Riley: You know what they put in museums? Mostly dead things.

Spike: Death is on your heels, baby. And sooner or later, it's gonna catch you. And part of you wants it. Not only to stop the fear and uncertainty, but because you're just a little bit in love with it.

Spike: Death is your art. You make it with your hands day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace. And part of you is desperate to know: What's it like? Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret. Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land. She really wanted it. Every Slayer has a death wish. Even you.

Spike: Sooner or later, you're gonna want it. And the second — the second — that happens, you know I'll be there. I'll slip in, have myself a real good day.

Spike: Come on. I can feel it, Slayer. You know you wanna dance.
Buffy: Say it's true. Say I do want to. (She pushes him to the ground.) It wouldn't be you, Spike. It would never be you. (She throws the cash at him.) You're beneath me.

Spike: "Beneath me." I'll show her. Six bloody feet beneath me. Hasn't got a death wish? Bitch won't need one.

Harmony: Okay, I'm trying to be supportive here, so don't drive a stake through my heart like last time, but... you can't kill Buffy. She is the Slayer, she is so going to kick your ass.
Spike: I've got two barrels here that'll prove you wrong.

Harmony: How are you gonna kill her? Think! The second you even point that thing at her, you're gonna be all "Aaagh!" (holding her hand to her head in imitation of Spike), and then you'll get bitch-slapped up and down Main Street, unless she's finally had enough and just stakes you!
Spike: Sure, it'll hurt like hell for about two hours. But she'll be dead just a little longer than that.

Drusilla (about Buffy): I can still see her, floating all around you! Laughing! Why? Why won't you push her away?

Drusilla: I have to find my pleasures, Spike. You taste like ashes.