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Angel: Um, am I gonna see you this weekend? You, uh, you-you probably have plans.
Buffy: Right, birthday. Um, actually, I, I do have a thing.
Angel: Oh, a thing. A date?
Buffy: Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. He likes it when I call him 'Daddy'.
Angel: Huh, your father. It is your father, right?
Buffy: He's taking me to the ice show. Which should be big fun.
Buffy: Wow, that was really funny-looking! Could you do it again?
Vampire: I'll kill you for that.
Buffy: For that? What were you trying to kill me for before?
Buffy: I'm way off my game. My game's left the country. It's in Cuernavaca.
Xander: We're still talking party, right? I mean, some of us still love to relish celebrating in the birth of the Buff.
Buffy: I dunno. I think it might be time to put a moratorium on parties in my honor. They tend to go badly. Monsters crash. People die.
Angel: You really like it?
Buffy: Of course I do. It's sweet and thoughtful and...full of neat words to learn and say like 'wilt' and 'henceforth'.
Angel: Then why'd you seem more excited last year when you got a severed arm in a box?
Buffy: I'm sorry. Uh, it's just suddenly there's this chance that my calling's a wrong number, and... it's just freaking me out a little.
Angel: That's understandable.
Buffy: Angel, what if I have lost my power?
Angel: You lived a long time without it. You can do it again.
Buffy: I guess. But what if I can't? I've seen too much. I know what goes bump in the night. Not being able to fight it... What if I just hide under my bed, all scared and helpless? Or what if I just become pathetic? Hanging out at the old Slayer's home, talking people's ears off about my glory days, showing them Mr. Pointy, the stake I had bronzed.
Angel: Buffy, you could never be helpless or boring, not even if you tried.
Angel: I saw you before you became the Slayer.
Angel: I watched you, and I saw you called. It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school. You walked down the steps... and...and I loved you.
Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I wanted to keep it safe... to warm it with my own.
Buffy: That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.
Angel: I was just thinking that, too.
Giles: It's a test, Buffy. It's given to the Slayer once she...uh, well, if she reaches her eighteenth birthday. The Slayer is disabled and then entrapped with a vampire foe whom she must defeat in order to pass the test. The vampire you were to face... has escaped. His name is Zackary Kralik. As a mortal, he murdered and tortured more than a dozen women before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane. When a vamp...
Buffy: You bastard. All this time, you saw what it was doing to me. All this time, and you didn't say a word!
Giles: I wanted to.
Giles: In matters of tradition and protocol, I must answer to the Council. My role in this... was very specific. I was to administer the injections and to direct you to the old boardinghouse on Prescott Lane.
Buffy: I can't... I can't hear this.
Giles: Buffy, please.
Buffy: Who are you? How could you do this to me?
Giles: I am deeply sorry, Buffy, and you have to understand...
Buffy: If you touch me, I'll kill you.
Giles: You have to listen to me. Because I've told you this, the test is invalidated. You will be safe now, I promise you. Now, whatever I have to do to deal with Kralik... and to win back your trust...
Buffy: You stuck a needle in me. You poisoned me!
Cordelia: What's going on? Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.
Giles: You can't walk home alone, Buffy. It isn't safe.
Buffy: I don't know you.
Cordelia: Did something take her memory? He's Giles. Giiillles. He hangs out here a lot.
Buffy: Cordelia, could you please drive me home?
Cordelia: Of course. But if the world doesn't end, I'm gonna need a note.
Buffy: If I was at full Slayer power, I'd be punning right about now.
Quentin: Congratulations again.
Buffy: Bite me.
Quentin: Yes, well, colorful girl.
Willow: Now, now when you say 'fired', do you mean 'fired'?
Xander: You're not cruising past that concept any time soon, are you?
Willow: Well, it's just... I mean, he's been *fired*! He's, he's unemployed! He's... between jobs.
Buffy: Giles isn't going anywhere, Will. He's still librarian.
Willow: Okay, but I'm writing an angry letter.
Buffy: You know, nothing's really gonna change. The important thing is that I kept up my special birthday tradition of gut-wrenching misery and horror.
Oz: Bright side to everything.
Quotes courtesy of Laugh Lines, Love Lines.