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Join Comixology Unlimited to read BtVS comics — The Complete Buffy Episode Guide

Dawn: You know, I'm not the shortest one here. I don't know why I had to be in the kid coffin.

Buffy: I should be home in bed, cuddling up to my insomnia and worrying about how I'm gonna mess up tomorrow.

Buffy: What if their problems are weird and tricky?
Xander: I think you underestimate your familiarity with the world of weird and tricky.

Buffy: You need to show this bully that you're not gonna take any more of his sh— guuuff. Uh, any guff.
Amanda: Cuz that's what I did. I stuck up for myself. The other day after class, I jumped him in the parking lot, and I slammed his stupid-ass insecure face right into the pavement!
Buffy: You what?
Amanda: I guess that's another reason Mr. Miller wanted me to see you. Do you think I should pound on him some more?

Xander: "From beneath you, it devours." It's not the friendliest jingle, is it? It's no "I like Ike" or "Milk, it does a body good."

Xander: Figuring out how to control your magic seems a lot like hammering a nail. Well, hear me out. So you're hammering, right? If you hold the end of the hammer, you have the power, but no control. It takes, like, two strokes to hit the nail in. Or you could hit your thumb.
Willow: Ouch.
Xander: So you choke up. Control, but no power. You could take, like, ten strokes to knock the nail in. Power, control. It's a trade-off.

Josh: I'm worried that I'm gay.
Buffy: Okay, first of all, I... I think it's great that you would come and talk to me about this. And second of all, you should know that there is nothing shameful about being gay, nothing.
Josh: I-I know, it's just, I'm not positive, so uh, I was thinking that, why don't you go on a-a date with me so I can be sure? (He grins.)

Buffy: It sounds like it's difficult for you. Like, maybe your sister makes it hard for you to establish your own identity. You said she's controlling, she doesn't let you make your own decisions.
Dawn: Yeah, and she borrows my clothes without asking.
Buffy: I understand. That must be hard.

Principal Wood: When I was in high school, I had a thing with this guy, right? Real bully. I kept telling everyone that he better sleep with one eye open, 'cause I was gonna bust his ass. Well, I got suspended. Talk like that is taken pretty seriously where I come from.
Buffy: The hood?
Principal Wood: Beverly Hills... which is a hood.

Principal Wood: I couldn't bust a move in high school, let alone someone's ass.

Cassie: Summers... hey, are you the counselor's little sister?
Dawn: No. She's my sister.

Xander (looking at Cassie's medical record): Strep throat, ear infections, yeast infections, none of my business.

Willow: Have you Google'd her yet?
Xander: Willow, she's seventeen!

Xander: Poems. Always a sign of pretentious inner turmoil.

Willow: I mean, a lot of teens post some pretty angsty poetry on the web. I even posted a melodramatic love poem or two back in the day.
Xander: Love poems?
Willow: I'm over you now, sweetie.
Xander (in a proud, gloating fashion): Looove poems!

Willow: You join chat rooms, you write poetry, you post Doogie Howser fanfic. It's all normal, right? (Buffy gives her a look indicating that no, that's not so normal.)

Dawn: Guys, I'm telling you, I'm liking Mike Helgenburg for the perp. Let's collar him before he lawyers up.

Cassie: You think I want this? You think I don't care? Believe me, I want to... be here, do things. I wanna graduate from high school, and I wanna go to the stupid Winter Formal. I have this friend, and... it would be fun to go with him. Just to dance and hear lame music. To wear a silly dress and... laugh and stuff. (She sniffles.) I'd like to go. There's a lot of stuff I'd like to do. I'd love to ice skate, at Rockefeller Center. And I'd love to see my cousins grow up and see how they turn out 'cause they're really mean and I think they're gonna be fat. I'd love to backpack across the country, or... I don't know... fall in love. But I won't. I just never will.

Spike: If I don't move, if I don't think, if I don't listen to the voices, then I won't hurt. Much.

Spike: There's evil... down here. Right here. I'm a bad man. William is a bad man. I hurt the girl.

Spike: Don't- don't leave me. Stay here, and help me be quiet.
Buffy: I think it's worse when I'm here.

Mike: You're Dawn's sister, right?
Buffy: Uh, that's right. Dawn is my sister.
Mike: That's so weird. I was just thinking about her. I was thinking, if, you know, Cassie won't budge, maybe I'll ask Dawn.
Buffy: You aren't mad at Cassie, with her rejecting you like that?
Mike: Nah. She's a girl, right? Making boys crazy is like her job description.
Buffy (indignant, as what he said about Dawn hits her): You're asking my sister to the dance? And she's your second choice?! I'm keeping an eye on you.

Buffy (to Peter): Do you know how lame this is? Bored teenage boys trying to raise up a demon. Sorry it didn't show. I bet it's because you forgot the boombox playing some heavy metal thing, like... Blue Clam Cult? I think that's the key to the raising of lame demons.

Cassie (to Spike): She'll tell you. Someday she'll tell you.

Peter: Help! Help me please, I'm bleeding.
Buffy: Sorry. My office hours are ten to four.

Buffy: See? You can make a difference.
Cassie: And you will.

Dawn: I guess sometimes you can't help.
Buffy: So what then? What do you do when you know that? When you know that maybe... you can't help?


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