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"Welcome to the Hellmouth" / "The Harvest"

Xander: Well, you're certainly a font of nothing!

Xander: Can I have you? Duh... Can I help you?

Buffy: To make you a vampire they have to suck your blood. And then you have to suck their blood. It's like a whole big sucking thing. Mostly they're just gonna kill you.

Angel: Ah, heh. Is there a problem, ma'am?
Buffy: Yeah, there's a problem. Why are you following me?
Angel: I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I don't bite.

Angel: Truth is, I thought you'd be taller, or bigger muscles and all that. You're pretty spry, though.
Buffy: What do you want?
Angel: The same thing you do.
Buffy: Okay. What do I want?
Angel: To kill them. To kill them all.
Buffy: Sorry, that's incorrect. But you do get this lovely watch and a year's supply of Turtle Wax. What I want is to be left alone!

Buffy: Who are you?
Angel: Let's just say...I'm a friend.
Buffy: Yeah, well, maybe I don't want a friend.
Angel: I didn't say I was yours.

Buffy: I don't suppose you've got a key on you?
Angel: They really don't like me dropping in.
Buffy: Why not?
Angel: They really don't like me.
Buffy: How could that possibly be?
Angel: I knew you'd figure out this entryway sooner or later. Actually, I thought it was gonna be a little sooner.
Buffy: Sorry you had to wait. Okay. Look, if you're gonna be popping up with this cryptic wise man act on a regular basis can you at least tell me your name?
Angel: Angel.
Buffy: Angel. It's a pretty name.

Angel: Don't... go down there.
Buffy: Deal with my going.
Angel: You shouldn't be putting yourself at risk. Tonight is the Harvest. Unless you can prevent it, the Master walks.
Buffy: Well, if this Harvest thing is such a suckfest why don't you stop it?
Angel: 'Cause I'm afraid.

Angel: They'll be expecting you.
Buffy: I've got a friend down there. Or at least a potential friend. Do you know what it's like to have a friend? That wasn't supposed to be a stumper.

Angel: She did it! I'll be damned!

Buffy: Well, I gotta look on the bright side. Maybe I can still get kicked out of school!
Xander: Oh, yeah, that's a plan. 'Cause lots of schools aren't on Hellmouths.
Willow: Maybe you could blow something up. They're really strict about that.
Buffy: I was thinking of a more subtle approach, y'know, like excessive not studying.
Giles: The Earth is doomed!

Quotes courtesy of Laugh Lines, Love Lines.


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