Willow (regarding Xander's fake ID): I don't believe this is entirely on the up and up.
Xander: What gives it away?
Willow: Looking at it.

Buffy (about Xander's new bartending job): You know there is more to it than wiping and kicking? Mixing drinks, for instance.
Xander: Oh, I've seen Cocktail. I can do the hippy-hippy shake.

Xander: Au contraire, mon frère.
Buffy: Mon frère means brother.
Xander: Mon girl-frère.

Willow: I'm pregnant by my step-brother who'd rather be with my best friend and who's left me with no place to live, no food, except for this bottle of Wild Turkey, which I drank all up. (Xander stares at her blankly) That's me being tanked and friendless for ya.

Xander: Pfffft. Nothing can defeat the penis! (notices how loud that was) Too loud. Very unseemly.

Lead cave-guy: Possibly debating the geo-political ramifications of bio-engineering. You got a take on that?
Xander: I've got beer. You want some beer?

Willow: (imitating Veruca) My name is Veruca, I'm in a band. (imitating Oz) Oh, I'm Oz. I'm in a band, too. Oh, and this is Will. (imitating Veruca) Oh, how fun, a groupie.

Buffy: I'm suffering the afterness of a bad night of... badness.
Willow: You didn't. Not with Parker again.
Buffy: No. with four really smart guys.
Willow: Four? Oh... ow. Oh, Buffy, are you OK? Do you want to talk about it?
Buffy: I went to see Xander. Then I saw Parker. Then came... beer.
Willow: And then group sex?
Buffy: Pffft... gutterface. No! Just lots and lots of beer.

Willow (about Parker): He deserves a torturous and slow death by spider bites. Well, for today, we'll just have to throw spitballs at his neck in class.

Buffy: Want beer. Like beer. Beer good.
Xander: Beer bad. Bad, bad beer. What the hell am I saying?

Giles: I can't believe you served Buffy that beer.
Xander: I didn't know it was evil.
Giles: You knew it was beer.
Xander: Well, excuse me, Mr. 'I spent the sixties in an electric-kool-aid-funky-Satan groove.'
Giles: It was the early seventies and you should know better.

Willow: Just how gullible do you think I am? I mean, with your gentle eyes and your shy smile and your ability to talk openly only to me. You're unbelievable!

Willow: That's right. I got your number, id boy. Only thing you're thinking about is how long before you can jump on my bones.

Xander: Giles, don't make Cave-Slayer unhappy.

Xander: And was there a lesson in all this? Huh? What did we learn about beer?
Buffy: Foamy!
Xander: Good. Just as long as that's clear.