Xander: My dad tried to sell me to some Armenians once. Does that count?

Xander: Hold on a sec. So, this person who's living with you for two weeks is a man. With man parts. This is a terrible idea.
Willow: What about the beautiful melding of two cultures?
Xander: There's no melding, okay? He better keep his parts to himself.

Willow: You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years.
Xander: Yeah. I'm irrational that way.

Buffy: I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?
Xander: The important thing is *you* believe that.

Buffy: Just this once I'd like to be the Overlooked One.

Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone.

Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke.
Xander: For twenty-one hours?
Willow: It's addictive, you know.

Xander: Oh, yeah. Fall for the old 'let me translate that ancient seal for ya' come on. Tsh. D'ya know how many times I've used that?

Willow: So, Ampata. You're a girl.
Ampata: Yes. For many years now.

Devon: Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to impress you?
Oz: Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to 'A Summer Place'. I can't discuss it here.
Devon: You're too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could have? You're lead guitar, Oz. It's currency!
Oz: I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.
Devon: She doesn't have to talk.

Xander: Okay, no shirts with ruffles, no hats with feathers and definitely no lederhosen. They make my calves look fat.
Willow: Why are you suddenly so worried about looking like an idiot? That came out wrong.

Ampata: You are strange.
Xander: Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away.

Xander: That's great! You're not a praying mantis, are you? Sorry, someone else.

Buffy: Come on! Can't you put your foot down?
Giles: It is down.
Buffy: One of these days you're gonna have to get a grownup car.

Xander: I just, present company excluded, I have the worst taste in women of anyone in the world, ever.