Xander: You wanna talk fun? Public bus. You meet the funnest people.

Xander: Buffy and Faith are in the library getting all *sweaty*.
Cordelia: They're training.
Xander: I stand by my phrase.

Buffy: I'm not talking about the Slayer. I'm talking about Buffy. You've awakened the Prom Queen within. And that crown is going to be mine.

Mr. Trick: Competition. Competition is a beautiful thing. It makes us strive. It... makes us accomplish. Occasionally, it makes us kill. We all have the desire to win. Whether we're human...vampire...and whatever the hell you are, my brother. You got them spiny-looking head things. I ain't never seen that before.

Mr. Trick: Ladies, gentlemen, spiny-headed looking creatures, welcome to SlayerFest '98!

Xander: How do I put this? Are we on first, second, or, uh... ye gods?
Willow: That's none of your business, Alexander Harris.

Oz: As Willow goes, so goes my nation.

Buffy: And I'm sure they're more important than all we've been through together, or... the number of times that I've saved your life.
Willow: What do you want?
Buffy: Fifteen minutes alone on your computer with Cordelia's database.
Willow: 'Kay.

Buffy: You really love Xander?
Cordelia: Well, he kinda grows on you, like... a Chia Pet.

Cordelia: Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend.
Lyle: WIFE!
Cordelia: Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. *I'm* the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?

Buffy: Long story.
Cordelia: Got hunted.
Buffy: Apparently not that long.

German: Is that her?
Mr. Trick: In the nubile flesh, my friend.

Willow: You have to help me pick an outfit. I want to wear something that makes Oz go, "Oh!"
Xander: No problem. I got the tux going on. I'm going to look hot if it even remotely fits.

Willow: The tux? I thought you borrowed it from your cousin Rigby?
Xander: Expense to my pride, Will. They're our only relations with money, and they shun us. As they should.

Xander: Okay, let's not say something we'll regret later, okay?
Cordelia: You crazy freak!
Buffy: Vapid whore!
Xander: Like that!

Cordelia: After all that we've been through tonight, this whole who-gets-to-be-queen capade seems pretty...
Buffy: Damn important.
Cordelia: Oh, yeah.