Xander: It's officially nippy. So say my nips.

Xander: Last month he's the freak with jicama breath who waxes his back. He wins a few meets and suddenly inherits the cool gene?

Cordelia: It's about time our school excelled at something.
Willow: Hmm. You're forgetting our high mortality rate.

Xander: That's wrong. A big fat spanking wrong. It's a slap in the face to every one of us who studied hard and worked long hours to *earn* our D's.

Cameron: Relax, I'm not going to hurt you.
Buffy: Oh, it's not me I'm worried about.

Buffy: So I'm treated like the baddie, just because he has a sprained wrist and a bloody nose... and I don't have a scratch on me... which, granted, hurts my case a little, on the surface...

Buffy: You should question him.
Willow: Really? Me? I'll crack him like an egg.

Xander: And what about that nutty 'all men are created equal' thing?
Cordelia: Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving.
Xander: I think that was Lincoln.
Cordelia: Disgusting mole and stupid hat.
Willow: Actually, it was Jefferson.
Cordelia: Kept slaves. Remember?

Buffy: Any demons with high cholesterol?...You're gonna think about that later, mister, and you're gonna laugh.

Cordelia: God, this is so sad. We're never gonna win the state championship. I think I've lost all will to cheerlead.
Xander: Raise your hand if you feel her pain.

Cordelia: Well, you could go out to the parking lot and practice running like a man.

Buffy: I'm a swim groupie. Oh, yeah, you know, there's just something about the smell of chlorine on a guy. Oh, baby.

Buffy: Obviously, my sex appeal is on the fritz today...

Angelus: Why, Miss Summers! You're beautiful!

Cordelia: I thought Angel liked blood.
Buffy: He used to.
Willow: Maybe his eyes were too big for his stomach.

Xander: I'm undercover!
Buffy: You're not under much.

Xander: I figure, I can keep an eye on Gage and the others when Buffy can't.
Willow: When you're nude? I meant to say changing.

Xander: Okey-dokey, coachie.

Xander: He's putting his sneakers on. But it's not the Velcro kind, so give him a couple extra minutes.

Buffy: I think we'd better find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut.

Coach Marin: You got some imagination, Missy.
Buffy: Oh, well, right now I'm imagining you in jail. You're wearing a big orange suit, and, oh look, the guards are beating you up.

Coach Marin: Boy, when they were handin' out school spirit, you didn't even stand in line, did you?
Buffy: No. I was in the line for shred of sanity.

Cordelia: You were so courageous. And you looked really hot in those speedos!

Cordelia: And we can still date. Or not... I mean, I understand if you want to see other fish. I'll do everything I can to make your quality of life better, whether that means little bath toys or whatever.

Buffy: Great. This is just what my reputation needs: that I did it with the entire swim team.

Coach Marin: How you feeling?
Xander: A little dry. Nothing a lemon butter sauce won't cure.