Xander: Here’s your coffee. Brewed from the finest Colombian lighter fluid.
Giles: Horrible.
Xander: Aren’t you supposed to be drinking tea anyway?
Giles: Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense.
Xander: Okay, but your destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here.

Oz: Any change?
Willow: He’s delirious. He thought I was Buffy.
Oz: You too, huh?

Buffy: Drink. Drink me.

Xander: Well. It’s just good to know that when the chips are down and things look grim, you’ll feed off the girl who loves you to save your own ass.

Cordelia: I personally don’t think it’s possible to come up with a crazier plan.
Oz: We attack the Mayor with humus.
Cordelia: I stand corrected.
Oz: Just keeping things in perspective.
Cordelia: Thank you.

Buffy: I’m gonna need every single on of you on board. Especially you, Xander. You’re sorta the key figure here.
Xander: Key? Me? Okay, pride. Humility. And here’s the mind numbing fear.

Buffy: Faith told me to play on his human weakness.
Willow: Faith told you? Is that before or after you put her in a coma?
Buffy: After.
Willow: Oh.

Buffy: Yeah, it does. You and Xander are going to have to work together now. Can you guys handle that?
Xander: I’m still 'Key' guy, right?
Buffy: Right.
Xander: Great. Then Angel, in non-'Key' guy capacity, can work with me.
Angel: What fun.
Xander: Hey! 'Key' guy still talking.
Buffy: Oh good. That’s it. Start bickering. That’ll look great for us. You guys are like little old ladies.

Buffy: My God. He’s gonna do the entire speech.
Willow: Man, just ascend already.
Buffy: Evil.

Buffy: Fire bad, tree pretty.

Cordelia: Well, that was the most fun you could have without having any fun.
Willow: What about the part where we kicked some demon ass? I didn’t hate that.

Buffy: If someone could just wake me when it’s time to go to college, that’d be great.