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Join Comixology Unlimited to read BtVS comics — The Complete Buffy Episode Guide

Buffy: No mouth means no teeth...unless they have them somewhere else.

Giles: I was just filling Buffy in on my progress regarding the research of Ascension.
Wesley: Oh. And what took up the rest of the minute?
Giles: Touché.

Buffy: A part of the demon. Hope itís not the outside part.

Willow: The school paper is edging on depressing lately. Have you guys noticed that?
Oz: I donít know. I usually go straight to the obits.

Willow: What are you doing Buffy?
Buffy: Nothing...checking for horns.

Buffy: It could be claws, or scales or...what?
Willow: Was it a boy demon?

Xander: They really are very good.
Oz: Their spellings improved.

Xander: You know Oz, I look at all this beauty, all these healthy young women and I wonder why I wasted my time on Cordelia. I mean, look at her. Sheís no better lookiní than the rest of them.
Oz: None of them are really mine...
Xander: Oh my God! Heís lookiní at her. Heís got his filthy adult Pierce Brosnany eyes all over my Cordy.
Oz: Youíre a very complex man, arenít you.

Angel: Hey. I wonít let anything happen to you if I can help it. No matter what, Iíll always be with you. Hey, Iíll love you, even if youíre covered with slime.
Buffy: I liked everything until that part.

Oz: It was intense.
Xander: Yeah, for a minute there I thought you were gonna make an expression.
Oz: Well, I felt one coming on, I wonít lie.

Xander: You have no shame.
Cordelia: Oh please, like shame is something to be proud of.

Cordelia: I still have knee marks on my back...[get some looks]from the pyramid.

Buffy: Is this the thing? The aspect thing? Because I gotta say, if it is, itís way better than a tail. I mean, I have a hard enough time finding jeans that fit right.

Buffy: And the boys of this school are seriously disturbed.

Buffy: Ooh, sorry. Sorry about the daytime. I just ducked out of school and thatís when they have it.

Angel: You canít get into my mind.
Buffy: How did you---why not?
Angel: Itís like the mirror. The thoughts are there, but they create no reflection in you.

Angel: You donít have to play games with me Buffy. Ever.
Buffy: Well, youíre not exactly Joe-Hereís-What-Iím-Thinking.
Angel: So ask me.
Buffy: Oh, but that would have made sense.
Angel: What do you want to know about? Faith? How I felt kissing her? Pretending to have no soul? Watching you suffer?
Buffy: Well, since you bring it up.
Angel: I hated hurting you. More than I could stand.

Angel: Kissing her meant nothing. I donít want a bad girl. Iíve done that before. Iíve lived a long time Buffy, and Iím past that. Iíve been with dozens of girls like that, more.
Buffy: Oh this honesty stuff is fun.
Angel: Thereís no comparison. In 243 years Iíve loved exactly 1 person.
Buffy: Oh. It is me right?

Angel: Be careful with this gift. A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful.
Buffy: Like say, immortality?
Angel: Exactly, Iím dying to get rid of that.
Buffy: Funny.
Angel: Iím a funny guy.

Oz: I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist. Huh.

Xander: What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. 4 times 5 is 30. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked women. Naked girls. Naked Buffy. Oh stop me.
Buffy: God Xander! Is that all you think about?
Xander: Actually...bye!

Oz: No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore she is.

Oz: Iím gonna follow the redhead.

Xander: See, Iíve been saying for years that the lunch lady is going to do us all in with that Mulligan Stew. I mean, what the hell is a Mulligan?

Xander: Yeah, I mean who hasnít idly thought of taking out the place with a semi-automatic...I said idly.

Xander: Iím still having trouble with the that one of us is just going to gun everybody down for no reason.
Cordelia: Yeah, because that never happens in American high schools.
Oz: Itís bordering on trendy at this point.

Buffy: You had sex with Giles! You had sex with Giles!
Joyce: It was the candy. We were teenagers.
Buffy: On the hood of a police car!?
Joyce: Iíll be downstairs. You feel better.
Buffy: Twice!

Willow: Talk to everyone on your list. AndÖuse the sample people!

Cordelia: Hi Mr. Beach. I was just wondering, were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow. Oh, itís for the yearbook.

Larry: Man, Iím out. Iím so out Iíve got my grandma fixing me up with guys.

Oz: Dingoes Ate My Baby played their instruments as if they had plump polish sausages taped to their fingers.
Freddy: Sorry man.
Oz: No, itís fair.

Willow: Jonathan. Ugh, I had him in my grasp. Slippery weasel.

Jonathan: Stop saying my name like weíre friends. Weíre not friends. You all think Iím an idiot. A short idiot.

Buffy: You know what, I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle.

Buffy: It looks quiet down there. Itís not. Itís deafening.

Willow: So, you feeliní better about Angel?
Buffy: Well, we talked, and then he ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to me and then we talked some more.
Willow: See, thatís how it should work.

Buffy: Well, itís nice to help someone in a non-slaying capacity. Except, heís starting to get that look you know, like heís gonna ask me to Prom.
Giles: Well, itíd probably be good for his self-esteem if youÖ
Buffy: What am I, Saint Buffy?

Giles: Feel up to some training?
Buffy: Sure, we could work-out after school, you know, if youíre not too busy having sex with my mother!
[Giles walks into a tree.]

Quotes courtesy of Laugh Lines, Love Lines.


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