Buffy: Mom? Whadya doin'? Mom? ... Mom? ... Mommy?

Anya: Yes, I'm going to barf too.
Joyce (sarcastically): Everyone's so sweet!

Willow: I had too much nog.
Tara: Oh, baby, want me to rub your tummy? She likes it when I ... (pauses, then quietly) stop explaining things.

Dawn: Umm, guys, hello? Puberty? Sort of figured out the whole "no Santa" thing.
Anya: That's a myth.
Dawn: Yeah.
Anya: No, I mean it's a myth that it's a myth. There is a Santa Claus.
Xander: The advantage of having a thousand year old girlfriend. Inside scoop.
Tara: There's a Santa Claus?
Anya: Mm-hmm. Been around since like the 1500's, but he wasn't always called Santa... but you know, Christmas night, flying, coming down the chimney, all true.
Dawn: All true?
Anya: Well he doesn't traditionally bring presents so much as you know, disembowel children, but otherwise...
Tara: The reindeer part was nice.

Giles: Shall I open another?
Joyce: Oh, do you think we dare?
Buffy: As long as you two stay away from the band candy, I'm cool with anything.

Buffy (putting her hand on Joyce): She's cold.
911 Operator (pause): The body's cold?
Buffy: No, my mom! Sh-should I make her warm?

Giles (answering the phone): Hello?
Buffy: Giles. You have to come.
Giles: Buffy?
Buffy: She's at the house.

Paramedic 1: It's a miracle, that's what it is, a beautiful miracle.
Doctor: Good as new!
Joyce: Buffy, thank God you found me in time!

Buffy: We're not supposed to move the body! (Buffy puts her hand over her mouth, in shock.)

Dawn: How can you say it's not that bad?
Girl: I just don't think it's that big a deal.
Dawn: Kevin Berman called me a freak in front of everybody! (sarcastically) No, that's no big deal.

Dawn: What a prima bee-atch! I swear, if I could make her head explode using only the power of my mind, that's what I'd be doing right about now.

Dawn: You know, my big sister could really beat the crap out of her. I mean, really really.

Dawn: This one time in history, uh, she had this book called "Annals of History," and she didn't know how to say the word "annals," so she kept saying —

Kevin: What's going on?
Dawn: Um... negative space.
Kevin: Yeah. What's that all about?

Dawn: What's going on? Something's going on.
Buffy: Let's go outside—
Dawn: No! Tell me what's going on.
Buffy: It's... bad... news.
Dawn: What is it? What happened?
Buffy: It's bad. Please, can we—
Dawn: Where's mom?
Buffy: Mom ha-had an accident. Or, um, something went... wrong from the tumor.
Dawn: Is she okay? Is she— but she's okay? It's, it's serious, but—
Buffy: Dawn...

Willow: No, no, I-I, I should, I should wear the purple (picks up the purple blouse). The purple, I, I, I think the purple, it's just that it's so, I don't know. I-it doesn't mean something bad?
Tara: I think it's, um... royal. Purple means... royalty.
Willow (tears running down her face): Well, I can't see Buffy at the morgue and be all royal! "Oh, I'm the king of everything, I'm better than you!" I have to be supportive! I, Buffy needs me to be supportive, I can't...(she begins crying as Tara looks on). God, why do my all shirts have to have stupid things on them? Why can't I just dress like a grownup? Can't I be a grownup?

Tara: We can be strong.
Willow: Strong like an Amazon?
Tara: Strong like an Amazon, right.

Anya: Xander cried at the apartment. It was wierd.

Xander: I'll tell you what it is. It's the frickin' doctors! I mean, they just let her out, you know? Clean bill of health. Dig a hole in your skull, here's a Band-Aid. Next!

Willow: Okay. (puts up her fists) Let's go. Come on, you and me. Come on.
Xander(stares at her, then sighs, walking over to kiss her on the forehead): You know I can't take you.
Willow: Damn straight.

Anya: Are they gonna cut the body open?
Willow: Oh my God! Would you just... stop talking? Just... shut your mouth! Please!
Anya: What am I doing?
Willow: How can you act like that?
Anya: Am I supposed to be changing my clothes a lot? Is that the helpful thing to do?
Xander: Guys—
Willow: The way you behave—
Anya: Nobody will tell me.
Willow: Because it's not okay for you to be asking these things!
Anya (crying): But I don't understand! I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore! It's stupid! It's mortal and stupid! And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why. (She puts her hand over her face, crying.)
Willow (after a long pause): We don't know... how it works... why.

Anya (angrily): You could have hit an electrical... (gestures) thing!
Xander: And once again with the sorry.

Tara: Did I miss something?
Anya: Xander decided that he blames the wall.

Xander: We'll go, we'll deal, we'll help. That's what we do. We help Buffy.

Buffy: Are you sure there wasn't any pain?
Dr. Kriegel: Absolutely. (Then in Buffy's thoughts, while he says something else) I have to lie to make you feel better.

Dawn: I have to pee.
Buffy: Do you want someone to go with you?
Dawn: No. I still remember how to pee.

Anya (loudly): I wish that Joyce didn't die...
Everyone looks at her.
Anya (more softly):...because she was nice. And now we all hurt.
Xander: Anya, ever the wordsmith.
Buffy (to Anya): Thank you.

Buffy: Everybody wants to help. I don't even know if I'm... here. I don't know what's going on. Never done this. (pauses) That's just an amazingly dumb thing to say. Obviously I've never done this before.
Tara (softly, after a pause): I have. My mother died when I was seventeen.

Tara: No, no, I didn't mean to... I'm only telling you this because... I know it's not m-my place, but... (pauses) There's things... thoughts and reactions I had that... I couldn't... understand... or even try to explain to anyone else. Thoughts that... made me feel like I was losing it... or, like I was some kind of ho-horrible person. I know it's different for you... because it's always different, but... if you ever need...

Buffy: Was it sudden?
Tara: What?
Buffy: Your mother.
Tara: No. And yes. It's always sudden.

Xander, Willow, and Anya return with their arms full of soda cans, junk food, and coffee cups.
Willow: We panicked.

Dawn (looking at Joyce): Is she cold?
Buffy: It's not her... it's not her... she's gone.
Dawn: Where'd she go?

Some quotes submitted by Helen Ryder.