Willow: This is exactly what you need. A 20th birthday party with... with... with presents, and funny hats, and-and those candles that don't blow out. Those used to scare me.
Tara: Me too.

Xander: We're goin' up against a god. An actual mightier-than-thou god.
Willow: Well, you know what they say. The bigger they are—
Anya: The faster they stomp you into nothing.

Willow (to Dawn): Well, I don't think Buffy would like the, uh, black arts bumpin' auras with the littlest Summers.

Anya (to Dawn): You make a very pretty little girl!
Xander (trying to shut Anya up): Anya, you wanna help me with that thing?
Anya: Heh heh. Xander needs help with his "thing."

Buffy: How was school today?
Dawn: Um, the usual. Big square building filled with boredom and despair.
Buffy: Just how I remember it.

Dawn: I just think you're freakin' out 'cause you have to fight someone prettier than you. That is the case, right?
Buffy: Glory is evil. And powerful. And in no way prettier than me.

Anya (as Buffy opens a present): This is extremely suspenseful! I want the presents.

Anya (holding the frilly dress Buffy received): Oh, it's just so lovely! Ooh, I wish it was mine! (The group gives her a funny look.) Oh, like you weren't all thinking the same thing!
Giles: I'm fairly certain I wasn't. (whispers to Xander) I've got one just like it.

Dawn (as the gang gets all sappy about her present to Buffy): Well, jeez, don't get all movie-of-the-week. I was just too cheap to buy you a real present.

Dawn: They were talking about me, just like everybody is.
Xander: Again, not so much. In fact, none.
Anya: We were talking about sex. I mean, you know us, sometimes we like to pretend stuff—
Joyce: Um...
Xander: Anya!
Anya: You know, like, say there's a fireman, or a shepherd—
Buffy: You know what? Let's not have this exchange of images right now.

Dawn: Jeez! Lurk much?
Spike: I'm not lurking. I'm standing about. It's a whole different vibe.

Dawn: You wanna come steal some stuff?
Spike: Yeah, all right.

Spike: Hey! Troll hammer! (He tries to lift it and fails miserably.) Didn't go with my stuff anyway.

Spike (reading from Giles' notes): "They had to be certain the Slayer would protect it with her life. So they sent the key to her... in human form. In the form of a sister." Huh. I guess that's you, nibblet.

Buffy: Maybe it's time to start a new tradition. Birthdays without boyfriends. It could be just as much fun!
Willow: Preaching to the choir here, baby.

Spike: You didn't think you could keep the truth from her forever, did you? Maybe if you had been more honest with her in the first place, you wouldn't be trying to make yourself feel better with a round of Kick the Spike.

Joyce: She needs to know that she's still a part of this family and that we love her.
Buffy: It's not that simple! We're not gonna be able to fix this with a hug and a kiss and a bowl of soup! Dawn needs to know where she came from; she needs real answers.
Joyce: What she needs is her sister, Buffy, not the Slayer.
Buffy: The Slayer is the only thing standing between Dawn and this god from the Bitch Dimension that wants to shove her in some kind of lock and give her a good twirl.

Xander (about Dawn): You know, uh, she kinda has a crush on me.
Giles: Your point being?
Xander: Oh, nothing. No. Just saying... powerful being... big energy gal, diggin' the Xan man. Some guys are just cooler, you know?

Spike (about Dawn): She's not just a blob of energy, she's also a 14-year-old hormone bomb. Which one's screwing her up more right now, spin the bloody wheel.

Glory: I smell a fox in my hen house. Is that why you've been playing sugar and spice with Uncle Ben? Trying to get a peek at Glory's unmentionables?
Dawn: No, I—
Glory: Shh! I kinda wanna hear me talking right now! Me talking! You know what I'm startin' to think? I'm thinking... that maybe you... don't have any idea where my key is!

Glory (to Dawn): I've been meaning to send the Slayer a message. And I could use a little pick-me-up. Two birds, one stone, and boom! You have yummy dead birds.

Buffy: Are you okay? Did she hurt you?
Dawn: Why do you care?
Buffy: Because I love you. You're my sister.
Dawn: No I'm not.
Buffy: Yes you are. (She points out the blood on Dawn's hand.) Look, it's blood. It's Summers blood. (She presses her hand against the wound on her shoulder, and clasps her bloody hand in Dawn's bloody hand.) It's just like mine. It doesn't matter where you came from, or-or how you got here. You are my sister. (She pauses.) There's no way you could annoy me so much if you weren't.