A post for bettie
Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 3:16 pm
Or...
"Mugged by conventional wisdom"
Or...
"Why does having a kid make people think they can now make any assinine comment they want?"
(The subject of things people say to new parents always makes me think of the stories on bettie's blog.)
So, last night I had my monthly board of directors meeting for an area non-profit. Following are some selected samples of wisdom on children from other board members, all delivered with an air of knowing superiority.
Board Member: He's [Malcolm's] probably still in that stage where he's no sleeping through the night.
Iago: Yes.
Board Members: (responding as if I had said something unbelievably naive) "My 18 year old had to call for me to pick him up at 1:00 in the morning." "Being kept up by kids lasts 18 years." "My 22 year old didn't get home with our truck until 2:30 the other night." "When you have kids, you never sleep again." And so on... (They managed to run this one for several minutes, complete with stories of juvenile delinquency and assurances I had no clue what having a child meant.)
Yes, yes, how naive of me to agree that Malcolm wasn't sleeping through the night yet. And thank you for letting me know that my parental responsibilities don't end when he can manage 8 hours of interrupted sleep--I was unclear on that.
Board tries to schedule a Saturday meeting starting at 8:00 am.
Iago: That's too early for a Saturday. Let's make it 9:00 or 10:00.
Various Board Members: "Now that you have a baby you can't sleep in anymore." "Those days are long gone." "Sleeping to 9:00 on a Saturday is a thing of the past." "You don't get to sleep when you have a baby." (They manage a couple minutes repeating variations on this point.)
Iago: Don't bring Malcolm into it. He's not the one trying to schedule a meeting at 8:00 am on a Saturday.
Yes, in that case, I did make a reply. So often I let comments slide, and then wish later that I had made a smart-ass response.
And there was much more of the same, with my favorite, delivered out of the blue, from a woman who knows me only from her having attended one previous board meeting, and has never met Jenn:
Board Member: I hope you and your wife didn't fight during pregnancy. Unborn babies can hear you.
This was the one that kicked the evening from people babbling the usual pabblum at a new parent into a total WTF moment. This one definitely deserved a smart ass reply, such as, "Yes, many people assume everyone else's marriage is just like theirs," or even a simple, "That's a really fucked up thing to say."
I went home and talked to Malcolm for a while, which made me feel much better. He doesn't speak English yet, but he's still a much better conversationalist than my fellow board members.
Is there anything in your life that brings out unhelpful, stupid or out-right rude comments from people you barely know? (Or don't know at all?) Any stories to share?
"Mugged by conventional wisdom"
Or...
"Why does having a kid make people think they can now make any assinine comment they want?"
(The subject of things people say to new parents always makes me think of the stories on bettie's blog.)
So, last night I had my monthly board of directors meeting for an area non-profit. Following are some selected samples of wisdom on children from other board members, all delivered with an air of knowing superiority.
Board Member: He's [Malcolm's] probably still in that stage where he's no sleeping through the night.
Iago: Yes.
Board Members: (responding as if I had said something unbelievably naive) "My 18 year old had to call for me to pick him up at 1:00 in the morning." "Being kept up by kids lasts 18 years." "My 22 year old didn't get home with our truck until 2:30 the other night." "When you have kids, you never sleep again." And so on... (They managed to run this one for several minutes, complete with stories of juvenile delinquency and assurances I had no clue what having a child meant.)
Yes, yes, how naive of me to agree that Malcolm wasn't sleeping through the night yet. And thank you for letting me know that my parental responsibilities don't end when he can manage 8 hours of interrupted sleep--I was unclear on that.
Board tries to schedule a Saturday meeting starting at 8:00 am.
Iago: That's too early for a Saturday. Let's make it 9:00 or 10:00.
Various Board Members: "Now that you have a baby you can't sleep in anymore." "Those days are long gone." "Sleeping to 9:00 on a Saturday is a thing of the past." "You don't get to sleep when you have a baby." (They manage a couple minutes repeating variations on this point.)
Iago: Don't bring Malcolm into it. He's not the one trying to schedule a meeting at 8:00 am on a Saturday.
Yes, in that case, I did make a reply. So often I let comments slide, and then wish later that I had made a smart-ass response.
And there was much more of the same, with my favorite, delivered out of the blue, from a woman who knows me only from her having attended one previous board meeting, and has never met Jenn:
Board Member: I hope you and your wife didn't fight during pregnancy. Unborn babies can hear you.
This was the one that kicked the evening from people babbling the usual pabblum at a new parent into a total WTF moment. This one definitely deserved a smart ass reply, such as, "Yes, many people assume everyone else's marriage is just like theirs," or even a simple, "That's a really fucked up thing to say."
I went home and talked to Malcolm for a while, which made me feel much better. He doesn't speak English yet, but he's still a much better conversationalist than my fellow board members.
Is there anything in your life that brings out unhelpful, stupid or out-right rude comments from people you barely know? (Or don't know at all?) Any stories to share?
