*cheesy opening theme*
B: Did you ring Reed? [about job]
K: No.
B: Can I slap you?
K: No.
*pause*
K: It'll hurt.
*pause*
K: You.
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 12/11/08*
---
B: [singing] What's that, coming over the hill?
*K farts*
B: Oh, you filthy beast.
K: It's me grunting.
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 23/11/08*
---
K: You don't watch a film like Face/Off because you want to be mentally challenged. You watch a film like Face/Off because you are mentally challenged.
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 3/12/08*
---
B: You are looking pensive there.
K: Mmmm.
B: Why are you looking pensive there?
K: Because I haven't moved from here since I started looking pensive.
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 18/12/08*
---
*B hands K his pizza*
K: Thank you, sir. As a wise LOLcat once said, "Om nom nom."
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 11/1/09*
---
*K&B are doing the Sunday Times crossword*
K: This 'u' you've put in for 'peanut' looks like a backwards 'n'.
B: I call it sexy.
K: I call it weird.
*pause*
B: [singing, to the tune of Sexyback by Justin Timberlake] I'm bringing Sexyweird... uhn!
K: Never do that again.
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 25/1/09*
---
*K&B are reading the Wikipedia page on the Super Nintendo*
K: "In South Korea, it is known as the Super Comboy", which is just an instruction you give to a sheepdog.
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 20/2/09*
---
*K has just removed some fluff from B's face*
B: Everything wants to be on this face, baby.
K: Including this fist.
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 3/3/09*
---
*K on the Weber Faster One*
K: The last time I saw a car like that, it fell out of a cereal packet.
*Recorded in B's house, Stoke-on-Trent, 22/3/09*