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Xander: I don't feel that boring covers it.
Buffy: No, boring falls short.
Willow: Even I was bored. And I'm a science nerd.
Buffy: Don't say that.
Willow: I'm not ashamed. It's the computer age. Nerds are in. They're still in, right?
Xander: Nah. Forget it. I'm not him. I mean, I guess a guy's gotta be undead to make time with you.
Buffy: That's really harsh.
Xander: Look, I'm sorry. I don't handle rejection well. Funny! Considering all the practice I've had, huh?
Xander: That's okay. I don't wanna go. I'm just gonna go home, lie down and listen to country music. The music of pain.
Ms. Calendar: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little.
Angel: Well, there's gotta be some way around it.
Giles: Listen. Some prophecies are, are a bit dodgy. They're, they're mutable. Buffy herself has, has thwarted them time and time again, but this is the Codex. There is nothing in it that does not come to pass.
Angel: Then you're reading it wrong.
Giles: I wish to God I were! But it's very plain! Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die.
Buffy: They say how he's gonna kill me? Do you think it'll hurt? Don't touch me! Were you even gonna tell me?
Giles: I was hoping that I wouldn't have to. That there was... some way around it. I...
Buffy: I've got a way around it. I quit!
Angel: It's not that simple.
Buffy: I'm making it that simple! I quit! I resign, I-I'm fired, you can find someone else to stop the Master from taking over!
Giles: I'm not sure that anyone else can. All the... the signs indicate...
Buffy: The signs? READ ME THE SIGNS! TELL ME MY FORTUNE! YOU'RE SO USEFUL SITTING HERE WITH ALL YOUR BOOKS! YOU'RE REALLY A LOTTA HELP!
Giles: No, I don't suppose I am.
Angel: I know this is hard.
Buffy: What do you know about this? You're never gonna die!
Angel: You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way...
Buffy: I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention!
Giles: Buffy, if the Master rises...
Buffy: I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die.
Xander: How could you let her go?
Giles: As the soon-to-be-purple area of my jaw will attest, I did not let her go!
Xander: How can I say this clearly? I don't like you. At the end of the day, I pretty much think you're a vampire. But Buffy's got this big old yen for you. She thinks you're a real person. And right now I need you to prove her right.
Angel: You're in love with her.
Xander: Aren't you?
Xander: You were looking at my neck.
Xander: You were checking out my neck! I saw that!
Angel: No, I wasn't!
Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.
Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck!
Xander: I told you to eat before we left.
Master: You're dead!
Buffy: I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.
Master: You were destined to die! It was written!
Buffy: What can I say? I flunked the written.
Buffy: Sure! We saved the world. I say we party!
Willow: You can come with us, Angel.
Buffy: I'm hungry.
Xander: So what's the story with the car?
Cordelia: Oh, that was me, saving the day!
Willow: (to Angel) Get something to drink.
Buffy: Is anybody else hungry?
Willow: (to Angel) Well, no, don't do that. Just hang.
Buffy: I'm really, really hungry.
Angel: By the way, I really like your dress.
Buffy: Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone.
Quotes courtesy of Laugh Lines, Love Lines.