Dawn: There's a girl at school told me that gelatin is made from ground-up cow's feet, and that if you eat Jell-O, there's some cow out there limping with no feet. But, I told her I'm sure they kill 'em before they take off their feet. Right?
Xander: Human chest! Human chest!
Willow (about Riley): Oh piffle, who needs him when I'm dusting two at a ti (she almost collapses) Whoops.
Willow: Oh, I feel just like Santa Claus... except thinner, and younger, and... female. And, well... Jewish.
Buffy (about Dawn): You got her a book on spells? The girl who can break things by just looking at them, now has a book to teach her to... break things by lookin' at 'em?
Buffy: Homework? Unh. I don't believe in tiny Jewish Santa anymore.
Joyce: I'd rip it half and stick in bed with me!
Crazy Guy: What is that thing? The-there's... no data. The-there's no pictures on this one. There! What is the data? There's no one in there.
Willow: You know what's weird?
Willow: That's Canis Minor, and Cassiopeia.
Joyce: I bet it's not even hooked up to anything. Just like the push-buttons at the cross walk that are supposed to make the signal change.
Riley: That might be toxic, don't touch it.
Buffy: Mom, what are you doing?
Joyce: Don't touch me! You- you thing!
Xander: I still don't get why we had to come here to get info about a killer snot monster.
Xander: Meteor go boom, crazy guy goes bye-bye.
Joyce: I wish that someone had bothered to tell me that there would be tennis being played. I just didn't know. Those eyes! Those eyes; they're like gasoline puddles! Tell me. Tell me because I need to know, why, why are you staring at me like that?
Joyce: Does someone know you're here, because they should have told you that at the gate, you're not supposed to be here! I need to rest now. I don't like the way you're staring at me! Did they tell you that at the gate? Stop staring at me, I don't like it!
Buffy: What the hell are you doing in my house?
Spike (pointedly, to Riley): You just missed a real nice time.
Dreg: Sir forgive me. I just want to understand. Why summon the Queller?
Joyce: Buffy, I wanna ask you something. And if I'm-- if I'm being crazy, you just tell me, okay?