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BuffyGuide.com — The Complete Buffy Episode Guide
Lessons
Quotes



Dawn (about a vampire about to come out of a grave): But, he's new. He doesn't know his strength. He-he might not know those fancy martial art skills they inevitably seem to pick up.

Buffy: You're a little girl.
Dawn: Woman.
Buffy: Little woman.
Dawn: I'm taller than you!

Buffy: He's a vampire. Okay? Demon? Preternaturally strong, skilled with powers no human could possibly ever—
Vampire (trying to get out of his grave): Excuse me. I think I'm stuck.

Dawn: I planned to get killed, come back as a vampire, and bite you.

Buffy: Vampires, demons... they're nothing compared to what's coming.
Dawn: I know. I just can't believe it's back.
Buffy: Believe me, I thought I was long past it. I guess you never are. Just a few more days til it starts, and then we'll never know what's coming next.
(Cut to the opening ceremony at the new Sunnydale High School.)

Willow: Is there anything you don't know everything about?
Giles: Synchronized swimming. Complete mystery to me.

Willow: It's all connected. The root system, the molecules... the energy. Everything's connected.
Giles: You sound like Miss Hartness.
Willow: She's taught me a lot.
Giles: Then why aren't you in your lesson?
Willow: Sorry.
Giles: It's all right, I think she was just—
Willow: Afraid. Yeah. They all are. The coven is— they're the most amazing women I've ever met. But there's this-this look that they get. Like I'm gonna turn them all into bangers and mash or something. Which I'm not even really sure what that is.
Giles: They're cautious. I trust you understand that.
Willow: I don't have that much power, I don't think.
Giles: Everything's connected. You're connected to a great power whether you feel it or not.
Willow: Well you should just take it from me.
Giles: This isn't a hobby or an addiction. It's inside you now. You're responsible for it.
Willow: Will they always be afraid of me?

Giles: Do you want to be punished?
Willow (plaintively): I wanna be Willow.

Buffy: You're gonna be late!
Dawn: I'm comfortable with that.

Xander: How exactly do you "make" cereal?
Buffy: Ah. You put the box near the milk. I saw it on the Food channel.

Xander: How are you?
Buffy: My sister's about to go to the same high school that tried to kill me for 3 years, I can't change districts, I can't afford private school, and I can't begin to prepare for what could possibly come out of there. So, peachy with a side of keen, that would be me.

Xander: I've got two crews working on this diabolical yet lucrative new campus.

Xander: Right exactly where the library was, we now have...
Buffy: Principal's office.
Dawn: So, the principal's evil?
Buffy: Or in a boatload of danger.

Dawn: I think it's pretty safe to say I'm not gonna see anybody that's invisible.

Dawn: I love to dance, I like music. I'm very into Britney Spears' early work, before she sold out, so mostly her, um, finger painting and macaroni art. Very underrated. Uh, favorite activities include not ever having to do this again, and uh...

Halfrek: No deaths, no eviscerations, you're not goading women into anything inventive, and you're not delivering when it is.
Anya: I don't even know—
Halfrek: That waitress downtown wished her husband was a frog — you made him French!
Anya: He's smelly! And with a little mustache...

Halfrek: Something's rising. Something older than the old ones, and everybody's tail is twitching. This is a bad time to be a good guy.
Anya: What is this, an intervention? Shouldn't all my demon friends be here?
Halfrek: Sweetie... they are.

Xander: No damage though?
Buffy: I think I may have destroyed Dawn's social life in all of about 30 seconds, but apart from that no.
Xander: Ah, being popular isn't so great. Or so I've read in books.

Principal Wood (to Buffy): You know, I thought in general it was customary for a person who's graduated to um... you know (laughing), go somewhere else.

Willow: I felt the earth. It's all connected, it is, but... it's not all good and pure and rootsy. There's deep... deep black. There's... I saw... I saw the earth Giles, I saw its teeth.
Giles: The Hellmouth.
Willow: It's gonna open. It's gonna swallow us all.

Buffy (to a zombie who said he'd like Dawn as his girlfriend): Wrong sister. I'm the one that dates dead guys. And no offense but, they were hotties. I mean, I'm sure you had a great personality...

Buffy: If at first you don't succeed... cheat.

Spike: Don't you think I'm trying?! I'm not fast, not a quick study. I dropped my board in the water, and the chalk all ran. Sure to be caned. Should've seen that coming.

Xander (spotting the hole in the bathroom floor): Contracty goodness!

Dawn (about the high school): You really weren't kidding about this place. I guess it hasn't changed.
Buffy: I don't know. It seems smaller.

Spike: The-the thing is... I had a speech. I learned it all. Oh, god, she won't understand, she won't understand.
Warren: Of course she won't understand, Sparky. I'm beyond her understanding. She's a girl! With sugar and spice and everything... useless unless you're baking. I'm more than that. More than flesh— (He morphs into Glory.)
Glory: More than blood. I'm— you know, I honestly don't think there's a human word fabulous enough for me. Oh, my name will be on everyone's lips. Assuming their lips haven't been torn off. But not just yet. That's all right, though. (She morphs into Adam.)
Adam: I can be patient. Everything is well within parameters. She's exactly where I want her to be. And so are you, number 17. You're right where you belong. (He morphs into Mayor Wilkins.)
The Mayor: So what'd you think, you'd get your soul back and everything would be jim dandy? A soul's slipperier than a greased weasel. Why do you think I sold mine? Well, you probably thought that you'd be your own man. And I respect that. (He morphs into Drusilla.)
Drusilla: But you never will. You'll always be mine. You'll always be in the dark with me. Singing our little songs. You like our little songs, don't you? You've always liked them, right from the beginning. And that's where we're going. (She morphs into the Master.)
The Master: Right back to the beginning! Not the bang, not the word... the true beginning. The next few months are going to be quite a ride, and I think we're all going to learn something about ourselves in the process. You'll learn you're a pathetic schmuck, if it hasn't sunk in already. Look at you... tried to do what's right. Just like her. You still don't get it. It's not about right. Not about wrong.
(Cut from the Master to...)
Buffy: It's about power.

 
 
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