Forrest: How are you going to learn anything if you keep doing schoolwork?
Forrest: Check her out. Is she hot, or is she hot?
Riley: There's definitely something off about her.
Xander: Well, how about this: we whip out the Ouija board, light a few candles, summon some ancient unstoppable evil? Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem; we show up and and kick its ass.
Xander: How's Will doing
Buffy: Now if you'll excuse me, I need go find something slutty to wear tonight.
Spike (about Buffy): I always worried what would happen when that bitch got some funding.
Willow: Riley, I noticed you left off a name today in roll call. Osborne, Daniel Osborne, Oz?
Buffy: You know for someone who teaches human behavior, you might try showing some.
Xander's Mom: Xander!
Parker: You know the difference between a freshman girl and a toilet seat? A toilet seat doesn't follow you around after you use it. (Riley punches him.)
Willow: OK, say that I help, and you start a conversation, it goes great, you like Buffy, she likes you, you spend time together, feelings grow deeper, and one day, without even realizing it, you find you're in love. Time stops, and it feels like the whole world is made for you two, and you two alone, until the day one of you leaves and rips the still-beating heart from the other, who's now a broken, hollow mockery of the human condition.
Willow: I've seen honest faces before. They usually come attached to liars.
Willow: She likes cheese... I'm not saying it's the key to her heart, but Buffy... she likes cheese.
Harmony: Spikey. Let's leave the Slayer alone. You know she'll only slap you around, and I can do that.
Willow (to Riley): OK, she's wearing the halter top with sensible shoes. That means mostly dancing, light contact, but don't push your luck. Heavy conversation's out of the question.
Willow (to Riley): If you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel. A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend. Have fun!
Harmony: Oh, I'm so gonna bite you.
Riley: You don't understand, I'm good at things. That's what I do. I work hard, apply myself, get it done.
Riley: The problem is, what kind of girl is going to go out with a guy who's acting all Joe Regular by day, and then turns all demon-hunter by night?
Buffy: What's wrong with him? Doesn't Spike get that this is my town?
Spike: I don't understand. This sort of thing's never happened to me before.
Riley: Did Willow tell you I like cheese?