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BuffyGuide.com — The Complete Buffy Episode Guide
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Quotes



Willow: I'm gonna stop by my mom's first. Been doing that a lot lately.
Xander: Yeah. I actually might stop by your mom's too. (She looks at him.) Well, I'm not going to my place. Those people are scary!

Spike: Joyce was the only one of the lot of you that I could stand!
Xander: And she's the only one with a daughter you wanted to shag. I'm touched.
Spike: I liked the lady! Understand, monkey boy? She was decent. She didn't put on airs. She always had a nice cuppa for me. (pause) And she never treated me like a freak.
Xander: Her mistake.

Xander: The guy thinks he can put on a big show and con Buffy into being his sex monkey!

Willow: Oh, Dawn. I wish I could help more. The only thing is... it'll get better. I promise.
Dawn: You don't know that.
Tara: Sure she does. We're witches. We know stuff.
Dawn: What? Life goes on, and I forget mom? Is that what you're saying?

Dawn: Good, 'cause I know... what I want to do now.
Willow: Great. What are you up for?
Dawn: You guys are witches. And you do magic and stuff.
Willow: You want us to teach you something? Uh, like a glamour, or I could make a stuffed animal dance!
Dawn: I wanna do a spell. I wanna bring Mom back.

Anya: Well, she got me thinking, about how people die all the time, and... how they get born too, and how you kind of need one so you can have the other. When I think about it that way, it... makes death a little less sad, and... sex a little more exciting.
Xander: Again I say, huh?
Anya: Well, I just think I understand sex more now. It's not just about two bodies smooshing together. It's about life. It's about making life.
Xander (alarmed): Right, when... two people are much older, and way richer, and far less stupid.
Anya (smiling): Breathe. You're turning colors. I'm not ready to make life with you, but I could. We could. Life could come out of our love and our smooshing, and that's beautiful. (Xander looks relieved.) It all makes me feel like we're a part of something bigger. Like I'm more awake somehow. You know?

Tara: Magic can't be used to alter the natural order of things.
Dawn: But all you do is mess with the natural order of things.

Buffy: The funeral was... (sighs) it was brutal, but it's tomorrow that I'm worried about.
Angel: What's tomorrow?
Buffy: That's exactly what I don't know. Up until now I've had a road map. Things to do every minute, having to do with Mom.
Angel: Tomorrow the stuff of everyday living resumes.
Buffy: And everybody expects me to know how to do it, because... (sarcastically) I'm so strong.

Angel: I can stay in town as long as you want me.
Buffy: How's forever? Does forever work for you?

Ben (to Jinx): You're more fun when I hit you.

Jinx: Time is running short, sir. Every moment you fight Glory, you're only fighting yourself, you see?
Ben: Fine. Let the best me win. And let Glory understand this — I won't help her find the Key. I would never do that to an innocent— (he stops short)
Jinx: An innocent? The Key? That's an interesting choice of words.

Anya: We have some very amusing chicken feet you can play with!
Dawn: That's okay.
Anya: Don't you watch television? I thought all children despise effort and enjoy cartoons.

Giles: I can always use a hand.
Anya: But you have a hand. A paid hand! A hand that isn't the hand of illegal child labor.
Giles (pointedly): Anya...
Anya (to Dawn): But of course, it's wonderful that you find doing my job so distracting. I am unthreatened. Proceed.

Giles: Oh, well if you like I could teach you how to... work the cash register. You can ring up sales!
Dawn: Cool.
Anya (anxiously): Ring up sales? With the money? She gets to fondle the money?

Anya (to a customer): Hello customer! I'll help you!

Glory: What about the key?
Jinx: He indicated that it was a person, most... highest... you.
Glory: The key's in human form?
Jinx: I believe so... (searching for words) good one.
Glory (gasping with delight): Jinx, you robed stud, you're my man! I'm even gonna let you slide on the lame toadying on account of you're dying and stuff.

Glory: Get him fixed, would ya? I wanna hear the whole story again, without all that annoying moaning.

Dawn: You need me, Spike. Somebody's gotta get the egg while you distract the Ghora. Now come on! (She strides into the opening.)
Spike: Well, what do you know? Bitty Buffy.

Willow: What did I have for breakfast this morning? Do you remember?
Tara: Hmm?
Willow: I wanna say bagel, but I think that was yesterday. You had two eggs sunny-side-up. I remember 'cause they were wiggling at me like little boobs. Tara (grinning): Sassy eggs.

Dawn: Mom... died, and it's like you don't even care!
Buffy: Of course I care! How can you even think that?
Dawn: How can I not? You haven't even cried. You've just been running around like it's been some big chore or something. Cleaning up after Mom's mess!
(Buffy slaps Dawn across the face)

Dawn: Nobody's asking you to be Mom.
Buffy: Well, who's gonna be if I'm not? Huh, Dawn? Have you even thought about that? Who's gonna make things better? (crying) Who's gonna take care of us?
Dawn: Buffy...
Buffy: I didn't mean to push you away, I didn't! I just... I couldn't let you see me.

Some quotes submitted by Haseeb Jarral, C.J. Baggins, Rob Cornelson and Helen Ryder.

 
 
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