Xander (about his pumpkin): I don't know. I was going for ferocious-scary, but it's coming out more dryly sardonic.
Willow: It does appear to be mocking you with its eye holes.
Oz: Yeah, it's nose hole seems sad and full of self-loathing.

Buffy: I was just thinking about the life of a pumpkin. Grow up in the sun, happily entwined with others, and then someone comes along, cuts you open, and rips your guts out.

Xander (on Buffy's departure): Now? The night's still ... well, okay it's a little mature, but still.

Willow: Where's supportive boyfriend guy?
Oz: Oh, he's picking up your dry-cleaning, but he told me to tell you he's afraid you're going to get hurt.

Frat Boy Josh: Halloween isn't about thrills, chills, and funny costumes; it's about getting laid.
Frat Boy Edward: Is there any holiday that's not about getting laid?
Frat Boy Josh: Arbor Day.

Xander: Well, that's the funny thing about me. I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.
Anya: That's stupid!
Xander: I accept that.

Anya: It's been exactly one week since we copulated. Did you forget?

Buffy: Oh, that just paved right over memory lane, huh?

Buffy: Let's just get to the party part of the... party.

Buffy: Thank the Lord.
Oz: You're welcome.

Buffy: Conjuring? Will, let's be realistic here, okay? Your basic spells are usually only about 50-50.
Willow: Oh yeah?! Well... so's your face.
Buffy: What?

Xander (thinking that no one can see or hear him): I'd offer my opinion, but you jerks aren't gonna hear it anyway. Not that didn't-go-to-college-boy has anything important to say. I might as well hang out with my new best friend, bleeding dummy head, for all you dorks care.
Buffy: What is wrong with you?

Xander (taunting the fear demon): Who's the little fear demon? Come on, who's the little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why? Can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it's just... tacky.

Buffy: There's no problem that cannot be solved by chocolate.
Willow: I think I'm gonna barf.
Buffy: Except that.